By ALLISON TASK
For Montclair Local
Note: Welcome to the new Ask Task! I’m now sharing ideas and themes from my coaching
practice to give you a window into what people are talking and thinking about, and the tools they’re using to move forward. Enjoy! Please drop me a line and let me know what you think. Allison Task is a career and life coach in Montclair, and the author of “Personal (R)evolution: How to Be Happy, Change Your Life, and Do That Thing You Always Wanted to Do.” Her website is allisontask.com.
Need advice? Allison is still happy to take questions. Email firstname.lastname@example.org, or email@example.com.
So remember two weeks ago, when we were all counting the long long days until school started on Thursday? Then remember when we found out about the early dismissal? Kinda felt like getting a sucker punch toward the end of your 12th round.
And now school has begun. Rosh and Yom are in the rear view, and then, God willing, we’ll have a week or two of full school days before we celebrate Columbus on Oct. 8 (with growing ethical hesitance, and lots of mall sales).
While I’m an optimist by trade, I want to acknowledge the challenges of the last few weeks so that we can collectively put them behind us, and shine a brighter light on the opportunities ahead. I like to help my clients focus their minds on opportunities, not challenges; what you are moving toward, not what you are leaving. Those images tend to be faint; let’s pull them into resolution.
This is a two-parter. Looking back to look forward, and looking forward to take action today. (Stay with me, it will all make sense in a minute or two).
First, let’s talk about next summer (whaaat?).
Yes, next summer: there’s no better time to plan for something than during the post-mortem period. All the talk now is about where you’ve been and what you’ve done, and if you’re anything like me, your Wildwood trip does not hold up to your friends’ trips to Japan, London, heck even Woodloch Pines (personally, I’ll take a pass on spending days inside boardwalk arcades with my kids next year).
Take notes on what you’re most jealous of. Which trips sounded the best? For me, it’s those international castle-and-gelato-filled trips that so many local parents were brave enough to figure out with the help of Air B&B.
Or the work-anywhere parents who were able to take a month (or two) at the Cape with the family. Figure out which trips sounded best to you, and make them your own for next summer. Look back to look forward.
Next, dare I say we’re in the countdown to 2019? There are less than four months left to 2018. About 125 days.
I like to conceive of coaching goals in three-month increments.
It’s a season. It’s a fiscal quarter. It’s a manageable amount of time in which you can do something significant. You could lose 15 pounds (if you have it to lose). You could stop drinking, and see how that shifts your perspective. You could make a commitment to being a more loving partner, or a more present parent. You could have a “digital sabbath” on the weekends and see how that changes your brain. You could commit to a 10-week fitness challenge, and see how that changes your body and mind.
What’s something you’d like to shift in your life between now and New Year’s Eve? How can you envision yourself on Dec. 31? Different – and better – from how you are today? A new job? Stronger boundaries with toxic relationships? A martial arts program? Regularly playing that guitar again?
If you’re having trouble choosing, visit allisontask.com and download a free coaching assessment tool called “The Whole Life Model.”The Whole Life Model is a tool that will help you determine which areas of life would benefit from focused improvement; this will help you take action in a most meaningful way. Look forward, take action today towards a better version of you.